‘I know she’s been lying about money, I told her I’m not covering for her after this’: 28-year-old refuses to help her roommate, Kira, with rent after discovering Kira’s been secretly overcharging her for utilities and pocketing the difference

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Oct 24, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Nothing ruins roommate harmony faster than finding out your shared bills have turned into a side hustle. One woman learns her friendly cohabitation agreement was actually a subscription service she never signed up for. You think you are splitting rent and Wi‑Fi. Turns out you were unwittingly donating to your roommate's secret income stream. When the scam slips out by accident, the tears start flowing, and suddenly it is less about the missing money and more about how she's "been struggling." It is a classic move that turns guilt into currency.  

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  • AITJ for refusing to help my roommate with rent after finding out she’s been secretly charging me for utilities I already pay?

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  • I (28F) live with my roommate Kira (26F). When I moved in last year, she handled setting up all the bills electricity, water, Wi- Fi and I just sent her my half every month through Venmo.
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  • Last week I got an email from the internet company addressed to me (since I used my name for the Wi-Fi install).
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  • The bill was only $55 not $110 like I'd been paying Kira monthly. I checked the other utilities and found the same thing.
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  • She'd been overcharging me about $80 total each month. I confronted her, and she admitted it.
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  • She said it was for my share of household supplies and little things she covered. I told her that's not how it works you don't secretly add charges without telling me.
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  • She started crying, saying she's been struggling financially and didn't know how to ask for help.
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  • Now rent is due, and she says she can't pay her half this month. I told her I'm not covering for her after this.
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  • She called me cold and said I'm punishing her for being honest. AITJ for refusing to help her now that I know she's been lying about money?
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  • Dry-Bandicoot-2556 She didn't ask for help she stole from you and then cried when caught. Financial stress is real, but secretly upcharging a roommate isn't survival, it's manipulation. You're not heartless for setting a boundary.
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  • Spiderisinmyhead Punishing her for being honest? Lol that's classic. She's mad she got caught and is now deflecting.
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  • Hightimetoclimb NTJ, she seem to have misunderstood the meaning of honest
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  • Kooky_Leopard1643 NTJ, of course you'd be angry about being duped like this. It's dishonest and a form of theft. The fact that she's not sorry for doing this to you by saying that you're punishing her for being honest is clear that she doesn't think she was wrong in the first place. Once trust is broken, it's very hard to gain it back. If she was honest from the start, and needed help, I'm sure you wouldn't be thinking twice like you are now. She's awful! Her inability to manage her own finances
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  • NTJ barleygood Is she seriously thinking that admitting a crime she was already proven guilty by you is being honest? >
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  • BeautifulChaos Energy Those are crocodile tears. Figure out exactly how much she's over charged you and deduct it from next month's rent And start looking for a new place to live. This is only the beginning of her bullshit
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  • ChickenScratchCoffee When was she honest? After you confronted her? lol also that's theft.
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  • catladyclub The crying is just emotional manipulation. She is a thief and a liar. She needs to figure out how to pay her own bills. I would not pay her half and start looking for a new place. It is ingrained in her soul to take advantage of others and not feel guilty about it. She has shown you who she is- believe her.
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  • NJT Techno_Core >said I'm punishing her for being honest stealing.
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  • JCBashBash NTJ, you need to tally up how much she stole from you and figure out how you are going to get retribution for that.
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  • This kind of story happens in every shared living setup. One person thinks organization makes them treasurer of the house, and the other assumes decency still exists. Next thing you know, someone is treating the joint utility bill like a creative writing exercise. It is not even about the amount. It is the betrayal wrapped in politeness. You made coffee together last week, but now you’re realizing the same person also invoiced you emotionally for it.  

  • The worst part is how often guilt becomes the main defense. The scammer is never the villain; they are simply misunderstood and “in a tough spot.” That line always works until you realize being broke does not automatically entitle you to other people’s honesty. Living with someone means sharing space, not playing bank. If broke is the vibe, say it. People can handle messy. What kills trust is the quiet math happening behind the kindness. Once you cross that line, even a $10 light bill feels personal.

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friendship bad friend living with friends best friends friends 20-year-old friend mean girls housemate renting roommates apartment
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